07 August 2010

Lonely is healing if you let it.

Two of my friends. Two people that I love very much say they are getting divorced. Although I love them, maybe because I love them, I am angry at Mike and Becky for giving up.

My heart wishes they would hang on a little longer. It also wishes that they would not give up and fight to save their marriage a little harder.

Both are loving people. They do so much to help and love others. That two loving people cannot relearn to love each other does not make sense to me.

But, it is not about me. If I have learned anything, it is impossible to truly know the hearts and minds of even the closest family members and friends.

For legal and ethical reasons I cannot explicitly tell my clients not to divorce, but Mike and Becky are not my clients, they are my friends. I want to scream and tell Mike and Becky that divorce will not help. I want to tell them that their problems are bigger than their marriage and will follow them should their marriage end. Turn and face your problems together, maybe truly for the first time ever.

I'll never stop loving Mike and Becky. My prayer is that they try one more time.

Here is a resent post from Mike's blog, Mike in Progess:
I've been feeling alone and lonely lately. It just got worse. I just found out where Becky and my son will be living after they leave Florida and move to Washington state in a few months. It hurts a little bit more when I found out that she'll be living with the couple that introduced us to each other almost 14 years ago. I'm going to need to get use to being alone. I know what you Christ followers are saying, "Mike, you're never alone. God is always with you!" I know. I know. But tonight I feel alone. This is one of those moments where I can easily do something stupid because it hurts too much to deal with reality. Please God help me deal with being alone and heal my heart. Don't worry. I won't do anything stupid tonight.

Funny how God works. Just moments ago he led me to a video at the
Flower Dust blog. It's another way that God reaches out to me and tells me it's going to be okay. See the video below from a really cool chick named Jamie. The video below is about learning to be alone.


  1. I feel the same way. My heart breaks for them both. As someone who hasn't found the right man to vow to spend my life with, I feel any advise from me would be incredibly inappropriate. But as their friend, I want to beg them to try. To not do this to their son. To try to find the love for each other they had all those years ago when they made that vow. But what do I know. I'm just a girl with her own set of issues that have kept her from ever finding someone to share that vow with.

  2. Hey Russell, Is Mike the Doctor (That Worked With Dani)& Becky The folks that often times gave Me Lifts to & from Your Home, Zoo Etc.

  3. No one knows Mike & Beckie's personal struggles-it's easy to say-stay together, work it out-but we are not in their shoes. I understand your exasperation and anger Russ-this is what you do for a living and it's hard when you cannot help friends that you love. You can just be there for them like the rest of us. Because of you & Mike I have the closest relationship with God that I've ever had-so I will use that relationship to pray for them-that they make the right decision and be there for them if they need someone. That is all any of us can do....