Friends With Benefits

"If love is the treasure, laughter is the key." -Yakov Smirnoff

By Russell Holloway

This weekend I was sitting on the beach with my family, enjoying the Florida sunshine and waves, and it crossed my mind that if I ever write a book about marriage I'll title it: Friends With Benefits: Five Steps To A Happy Marriage.

As a counselor I come into contact with unhappy couples a lot and I've noticed that what marriage researcher John Gottman says is true. Couples who focus on and foster friendship tend to be happy.

Although important, sex does not hold faltering relationships together. I talk to couples all the time who report great sex (with each other no less) but otherwise cannot stand to be in the same room. Far more important than bedroom delectation is the ability to do life together.

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Four hundred years ago, when marriage was more or less a property contract, people were too busy trying to stay alive to be burdened with emotions like romantic love. Romantic love existed for sure, Shakespeare assures us of that, but in a purer form. Love was first something one did. It was defined by behavior. Now, if couples don’t feel like giddy teenagers into the third year of marriage they often start a slow downward spiral and divorce somewhere down the road. Sad and unnecessary.

If we cannot rely on duty, the antidote for the modern couple is friendship. It works, it is fun, and best of all it usually includes sex. Cool. Thus the title of the book, Friends With Benefits.

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At the end of our day on the beach we packed up our towels and sunscreen, and walked back to the truck, side by side. Friendship, and love, and commitment have gotten our marriage through some difficult times. I’m lucky. My wife truly is my best friend. And there is more than one benefit to that.

Father, thank You for life. Thank You for the gift of friendship, that we can be friends with the one we love intimately. Father we ask for Your blessing and that You bless the marriages of those who read this. In Jesus name we cry out to You.

Nice is Overrated

By Russell Holloway

Last week my oldest son told me while we were standing around in the kitchen, “You are a pretty good dad, but I wish you were a little nicer.”

This made me laugh. Lucas is a talented and tough negotiator. There is little doubt in my mind that he could represent the International Brotherhood of Teamsters some day. And, I am sure he was being honest when he said that I am not always nice.

I admit that I have a temper that gets away from me now and then, but his comment had more to do with recent disappointment in not getting what he wanted than it did with me not being nice.

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

In any case, being nice is not my job as a parent. Friendship destroys the parent/child relationship. Friends are equals. When a parent and child start behaving as equals chaos and misery, for everyone, soon follow.

My job as a parent is to love my children. Love is teaching my children. Love is being patient with my children. Love is listening to my children and showing them affection.

Love is often saying no to my children and disciplining them, sometimes at the risk of making them angry with me or causing great disappointment in their lives. When this happens in our home I sometimes think my heart will stop, literally, but what my children learn is more important than what they temporarily think about me.

God has blessed me with two amazing boys. In the kitchen Lucas wrapped his arms around me, shut his eyes, and said, “I love you daddy.” I know he does. And, I love him and his brother more than life.

... Father, thank You for Your son. Thank You for the gift of children. Let us never take them for granted. Father, we cannot raise them without Your love and help. Give us the courage to be good parents. In Jesus name ...

Love is greater than fear

The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

- 1 John 2:17

A colleague told me over a cup of coffee that all human behavior is motivated by either fear or love. Maybe. I agree that behavior tends to be purposeful, even negative behavior. But, I need more time to decide if I completely agree with my friend. There might be other factors in play.

This weekend I was in Washington, D.C. to spend time with men from my old Army unit. We were in D.C. to celebrate the anniversary of the Battle of the 73 Easting. We gathered in the morning at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery to lay a wreath in honor of a friend who did not make it back from Iraq. His mother and father were with us. They quietly set the wreath on the tomb, which added solemn weight to the ceremony.

It was exciting and emotional to see people I never thought I would see again. We were slapping each other’s backs, hugging, and trying not to talk too loud before the ceremony began.

As the day unfolded I reacquainted myself with old comrades. Some with lives motivated by fear in the guise of ambition. Some with lives motivated by love, evidenced by their desire to attend to the needs of others. All of us motivated by the wish to be reconnected with our past, which is fueled, I think, by the mixture of both fear and love.

Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve ... me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

- Joshua 24:15

Even if love is winning, fear still has a small foothold on my life. Scripture teaches us that we cannot faithfully serve two masters, so I constantly redirect myself toward love. In the words of Thomas Cahill, we have a choice: we can be burned up by the fire of fear, or be refined by the fire of God’s love. I choose love.

... Father, thank You for being a God of love, thank You for being the very definition of love. Father guide us away from our worldly fears, strengthen us and give us courage to grow closer to you. In Jesus name. ...

Psychological First Aid

Last week I spent four days in Orlando training with first responders: police officers, fire fighters, emergency medical personnel, you know, the people you call when you are having a really bad day.

The purpose of the training was to help these practiced individuals learn techniques they can use to support each other when one or more of them have been exposed to an unusual incident that might lead to post traumatic stress.

First responders know something the rest of us sometimes have a hard time figuring out. In a crisis, life is hard, often lethal, when we try to go through it alone.

We are meant to rely on each other. That is how God created us. We are stronger when we support and look out for each other.

Scripture teaches us that, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

We are stronger when we band together. We are infinitely stronger when we invite God into our relationships. We experience God through each other. When we are in His will, He is manifest through our lives.

"Father, thank you for the people who are willing to put their lives at risk to keep us safe, be with them, give them courage and wisdom, and protect them, in Jesus name we pray."

Rejoice

"For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." Luke 19:10

It is only after I realized that I could not solve my own problems that I started to look outside myself for answers. Turning to the world and its empty promises only complicated my life, nearly destroyed my family, and made life worse. I had made myself hostage and the chains that bound me I put there myself. And, then love rescued me.

Tired of the world, Christmas has become holy to me. The birth of Christ means hope and mercy to a person who deserves neither. I sit in the quietness of my home, pray for my boys, pray for my wife, look at the Christmas tree, and rejoice like a man nearly drowned might rejoice, plucked from the sea and resting face down on the deck of a ship as he waits for strength to return to his body. Thank you, Father.

The punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5

... I praise our heavenly Father for you. I raise my hands and cry out to Him that you are blessed this Christmas, in Jesus name ...

The Science of Faith

Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

One of my favorite places in Berlin is the Natural History Museum. My wife grew up in communist East Berlin and has happy memories of going to the museum as a little girl.

Whenever we go back we love to watch Lucas and Tristan get excited about the exhibits. Their eyes pop open as they run around the old hardwood floors in the museum. The family favorite is the largest assembled dinosaur skeleton in the world, a Brachiosaurus. It is impossible to take a photograph of the entire skeleton without a wide-angle camera lens.

Some Christians shy away from museums like Berlin’s Natural History Museum because the museums strongly promote the theory of evolution. I encourage my boys to probe and ask the hard questions. Truth in science will always point us back to God, we need not fear.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. Psalm 19:1-2

In science a law is something that is verifiable and inarguable. For example, no one argues against the law of gravity, at least not at the user level here on planet Earth. A theory on the other hand is something that cannot be verified using scientific method.

Good scientific theories are built upon evidence to be fair, but what separates a theory from a law is that a theory cannot be proven. In order to fully embrace a theory some degree of faith is required.

Contemporary scientists like Stephen Hawking and Jared Diamond, who attack the possibility of a divine Creator, seem to lean upon their own presuppositions that God does not exist. Their logic is often circular. They have decided in advance that God does not exist and then text proof nature to support their own ideas. But the theory of evolution begs a question to the modern scientist: Why is evolution a theory and not a law?

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

We cannot decide God into existence, but others cannot decide Him out of existence either. God exists, or does not exist, despite what we think.

Based upon my own experiences I believe that God exists and that Jesus Christ is His son. I do so as a matter of faith. Those who choose not to believe in God do so as an exercise of faith, too.

... Father thank You for life, thank You for creation. Father please help us to better understand the world You have created for us, this precious space You have given us to let our lives unfold. We pray to You in Jesus name ...

Chip Ministry

I can see me continuing to make the best music I can, and let the chips fall where they may. - Lee Ann Womack

About one year ago we and some friends started hosting a Bible study in our home. The idea was to invite people from different denominations to the study. General Patton is known to have said, "If everyone is thinking the same then no one is thinking."

We have Roman Catholics attend, several Methodists, a few Evangelicals, and friends from The Church of Christ study scripture with us, too.

It is definitely one Bible study where people are never accused of thinking the same. And, most nights we have a great after party, too.

My wife sets out chips for people to snack on while we read and discuss scripture. Mike Ellis, probably my best friend, calls it her chip ministry. We all laugh, but it is the simple acts of service that sometimes mean the most.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. - Jesus Christ

I am constantly telling clients that what we do is not nearly as important as why we do what we do. Motive is so important.

A man might be the founder of a mega Church, but if his motive is to massage his own ego, is he serving Jesus Christ? Yet even the smallest act, like a chip ministry, done selflessly in Jesus' name and out of love, brings glory to our Father.

Remember that Jesus works through us. We are his hands, arms, feet, and body. Serve each other in love, in Jesus name, and you will find the love you are looking for.

A past rewritten

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. ~William Stafford

Children are much better at forgiveness than their parents. We talk about a parent’s innate love for a child like it is a given, but counselors know that is not always true.

Many parents, maybe most parents at one point or another, are willing to sacrifice their children on the altar of self-interest, often in seemingly small ways, sometimes in ways that make us ashamed to be human.

This weekend the pastor of Beachside Church, in Ormond Beach, Florida, Robbie O’Brien, proposed that forgiveness essentially rewrites history. Forgiveness, bundled up with the mystery of grace, can transcend time, and heal.

Young children know this intuitively. Children continue to love those who take their love for granted.

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. – Jesus the Messiah

The human capacity for cruelty stopped surprising me a long time ago. What still catches me off guard now and then is the power of forgiveness and those who offer forgiveness.

Just one example among many, I know of a girl who went to her dying father’s bedside in a hospital to forgive him for molesting her. Where does that kind of strength come from? How could I dare withhold forgiveness from people who have hurt me after hearing a story like that? What does a story like that say about the power of love?

Forgiveness is without a doubt a process. A process we need a loving God to guide us through.

Prayer, and tears, and anger, and more prayers, and more tears, mark our steps as we move toward forgiveness. But, the end effect is peace and healing, and maybe a past rewritten.

... Father, You are our God, and we praise you for being a God of love and mercy. Father, teach us to forgive. We cry out to You in Jesus name ...

Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll

As our love for Jesus grows, so will our obedience. - Ray Kelley

When I was an adolescent, I believed that to follow Jesus, to join God’s Kingdom today, was a kind of death sentence.

If I gave up everything the world had to offer: sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, and all the other fun stuff, in the end I could go to Heaven, or at least avoid that place where Barry Manilow songs are played in perpetual loop for all eternity, Hell.

I tried the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. It was fun for a while, but in the end there was just pain.

If I have learned anything, a life without our Father is a life empty. When we look for our own answers, and when we consult the world to do the same, the outcome is never, ever, good. If you don't believe me, pick up the newspaper.

If you love me, you will obey what I command. – Jesus of Nazareth

To obey that world revolutionary Jesus is to embrace love. To follow Jesus is to practice forgiveness. To accept His assurances and to repent is to turn away from the empty promises of the world and to rap your arms around peace.

To follow Jesus is in fact a death sentence … it is the death of yesterday’s lies, and the birth of a new day.

... Father, thank You for being a God of grace and love. Father thank You for Your son Jesus. Father we ask that You open our eyes to the lies of the world, and we pray that You cover us in the forgiving blood of Your son. In Jesus name we pray ...

Lonely is healing if you let it.

Mom hates dad, Dad hates mom, it all makes you feel so sad.- Kurt Cobain

Two of my friends. Two people that I love very much say they are getting divorced. Although I love them, maybe because I love them, I am angry at Mike and Becky for giving up.

My heart wishes they would hang on a little longer. It also wishes that they would not give up and fight to save their marriage a little harder.

Both are loving people. They do so much to help and love others. That two loving people cannot relearn to love each other does not make sense to me.

But, it is not about me. If I have learned anything, it is impossible to truly know the hearts and minds of even the closest family members and friends.

For legal and ethical reasons I cannot explicitly tell my clients not to divorce, but Mike and Becky are not my clients, they are my friends. I want to scream and tell Mike and Becky that divorce will not help. I want to tell them that their problems are bigger than their marriage and will follow them should their marriage end. Turn and face your problems together, maybe truly for the first time ever.

I'll never stop loving Mike and Becky. My prayer is that they try one more time.

Here is a resent post from Mike's blog, Mike in Progess:

I've been feeling alone and lonely lately. It just got worse. I just found out where Becky and my son will be living after they leave Florida and move to Washington state in a few months. It hurts a little bit more when I found out that she'll be living with the couple that introduced us to each other almost 14 years ago. I'm going to need to get use to being alone. I know what you Christ followers are saying, "Mike, you're never alone. God is always with you!" I know. I know. But tonight I feel alone. This is one of those moments where I can easily do something stupid because it hurts too much to deal with reality. Please God help me deal with being alone and heal my heart. Don't worry. I won't do anything stupid tonight.

Funny how God works. Just moments ago he led me to a video at the Flower Dust blog. It's another way that God reaches out to me and tells me it's going to be okay. See the video below from a really cool chick named Jamie. The video below is about learning to be alone.

Know your enemy

Youth is wasted on the young.

- George Bernard Shaw

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me ... - Psalm 71:17

One morning during second grade summer school, when my family lived in Northern California, I stood in front of a school assembly and sang Johnny Horton's Sink The Bismarck. Everyone clapped. It was great. Since that moment, I’ve wanted to be a rock star.

Thank God for unanswered prayers.

My one brush with rock stardom came when I got on stage with a New Jersey punk-rock band, touring through Europe, named Mucky Pup. We met in a overlit bar before one of their concerts. We shared a few beers … then a few more … and then we did shots of Jaegermeister … and then we drank a few more beers ....

Before you could shout Sex Pistols! three times fast, I was on stage with Mucky Pup, in front of 800 screaming Germans, singing covers from The Who. The base player for Mucky Pup stopped playing long enough to take my picture. It was cool.

Near the end of the set, I climbed on top of stage speakers. About eight feet above the audience, I executed a stage dive - a very stylish one, I might add - directly on top of the mosh pit. A dense cluster of unsteady arms held me up for a few seconds before we collapsed on the floor. About half the people were cursing, the rest were laughing, and all of us were scrambling to stand up before our heads got stomped on. The music continued.

One is never too hedonistic for prayer. – Kari Cobham

Outside the concert hall, I shared a cigarette with a German girl, while Mucky Pup continued to play. After, I had to run to catch the last regional train back to Bamberg and the Army base. Morning formation was just three hours away.

The train was empty. I slid a window down, shut my eyes, and let the cool German country air hit my face.

At moments like this I felt lonely and a little lost, and would wonder about God. -- How far away He seemed, how wrong I was to think so.

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It took a long time for me to realize that attention seeking behavior, like trying to impress people who do not know me, hard partying, stage diving, performing for the crowd, are empty promises.

All human stories, your story, my story, are stories about grace, either accepted or rejected.

You can reject God’s love, but you cannot outrun God’s love. He loves you dearly, no matter what you have done.

Even when I was wide open and running from God as fast as I could … He was there, pursuing me, loving me, waiting for me. He loves you that much, too. Do yourself a favor and stop running.

... Father, You are our God and we thank You for your mercy and grace. Walk with us and turn our hearts to follow You. Help us to see Your truth. In Jesus name we cry out to You ...

The X-factor

The most important thing in life is to learn how to love, and to let it in. - Morrie Schwartz

An individual does not have enough fingers and toes to count all of the theoretical approaches to psychotherapy. Psychoanalysis, Family Systems Therapy, Person Centered Counseling, Reality Therapy, and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, are the names of just a few.

Many of the approaches to therapy and counseling contradict each other in theory and practice, yet all enjoy some degree of efficacy and support.

What analysis is all about is for one hour a week, you sit and hope that for a flash of a moment you will experience connectedness.
-Marion Woodman

Irvin D. Yalom, M.D., one of the fathers of existential therapy, and the author of Love's Executioner, asked how can competing approaches to counseling all work? What factor do they have in common?

Yalom answers his own question. He believes that healing takes place, in all of the theoretical approaches, when a person admits their deepest fears and secrets to another human being … and still feels accepted and valued.

But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. – Matthew 9:13

There are so many places in scripture where Jesus talks about reaching out to each other. We all need to be listened to. We all need compassion. We all need to be able to tell our stories, not be judged, and to feel loved.

We are the conduits of what Jesus came to Earth to offer humanity: love, mercy, and forgiveness.

... Father, we thank you for being a God of second chances. Father, forgive us for not listening to each other. Father, turn our hearts and teach us to love the way that you love. In Jesus name we pray ...

Jumping over shadows

Today's post is part of the Blog Carnival hosted by Bridget Chumbley, topic, JOY. Click through to her site for some great posts.

“I honestly think the beach is the only place children actually entertain themselves.”

--Donna McLavy

He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea.

--Job 9:8

Here in Daytona Beach, modesty is not one of our spiritual gifts. Spring Break 2010 is over, but the world’s most famous beach still plays host to a sea of partially dressed humanity. The sand is hard packed here; cars weave freely in and out of sunbathers smearing sunscreen on each other’s shoulders. Waves colliding with sand is a part of our rhythm of life in Florida.

Friday I joined forces with my friend and colleague, Michael McCrory, for a little beach walk. A thirty-mile toddle, from Ponce Inlet, north, to Flagler Beach … thirty miles? What the HECK were we think’n …

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Post trip observations:

Retirees own the beach around sunrise. I guess all the young pups are getting ready for work, nursing hangovers, or both.

If you want to collect seashells, get to the beach early. Small armies of seashell hunters storm the beach like viking invaders and grab the best formed shells within the first few hours of sunlight. McCrory found a nice sand dollar, but it fractured, like the bones in our feet, by the end of our death march.

Arm tattoos, the kind that look like shirtsleeves, are getting popular with twenty-something women. I noticed the trend in San Francisco last month, but I thought it might be a West Coast thing … guess not. I wonder what those tattoos are going to look like when those young ladies get that flabby-arm-thing some grandmothers get.

Families are a huge contingent on the beach. What stood out most Friday is how much joy parents get from watching their children play. Kids never stop smiling as they jump over waves with their arms straight up in the air or roll themselves up in blankets of sand.

The beach has a spellbinding effect on children. Laughing children have a spellbinding effect on parents.

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. -- Romans 8:16

Near the end of our walk, somewhere near mile twenty-five, the beach cleared, and I had a moment to stop and face the windy Atlantic alone. Long shadows from sea oats and saw palmetto mingled with my own shadow.

God, who am I that you should love me? I have done so much wrong. I have hurt others. I have shamed myself and my family. How can you possibly love me?

His answer was clear as waves crashed nearby: Rusty, I love you. I have always loved you. Like those children dancing in the sea today, you belong to me, you are precious to me.

And, it is true. God loves you that much, too.

... Father, thank you for the sea. Thank you for the beach. And, thank you for our children. Father, be with us and those we love. In Jesus name we pray ...

Killing was easy

"You should have died when I killed you." - John LeCarre

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness;

therefore you are feared. - Psalm 130:3-4

During the course of a conversation last week, I told a client that everyone has secrets. The idea was to help the client feel less isolated. And, it is true. We have all witnessed or participated in events we do not want to share with others. Events we do not care to whisper to ourselves.

The client, who was overcome with guilt, looked up for the first time and asked, “What are your secrets?”

After a thick silence I deflected the question, but the question stayed in the room, long after the counseling session was over.

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Last year Warrior’s Rage was published by Navel Institute Press. I fought along side the author, Col. Douglas Macgregor. When the book was being written, I told Doug I did not want my name in the book, mostly because I did not want to be reminded of my own secrets.

After a flurry of phone calls from other soldiers in our unit, I relented and gave consent.

Doug retells a story from our first day of contact with the Iraqi army. He was concerned with an infantry unit that was opening fire as we approached their position …

So I called Cougar Forward and said: “Shoot that son of a b---- on the ridge before he hurts someone.”

Sergeant Rusty Holloway, the gunner for Cougar Forward, obliged with one round from the 25-mm chain gun, killing the Iraqi soldier, who was firing his AK47, taking his head and upper body off at about 1,100 meters with a 25-mm sabot round. After that, the rest of the Iraqi company surrendered, and the shooting subsided.

This was the first time I had seen a man killed in combat. The experience had an electrifying effect on me and on the troops who watched the event, but not the way most people would expect. The accuracy and lethality of the 25-mm chain gun was both terrifying and reassuring. Now we knew our guns worked.

Killing was easy.

We moved north and ran into other Iraqi units; then we engaged the Tawakana Division; then Andy was killed during a Republican Guard counter attack; and then things got ugly for the Iraqis … secrets.

There is something about wanting to stay alive, and keeping your friends alive, that makes killing easy, indeed. Later, after the fact, ending another's life is not so easy … secrets.

For a few hours, after Andy was killed, I completely turned myself over to evil. It was more than just survival reflex.

Later, after the fighting, I experienced depression for the first time in my life. My illusions about humanity, governments, human answers to problems, crumbled like a house of cards. For the first time I experienced how evil people could be, and that included myself.

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There are many victims of trauma who find their way to our counseling center. I do not identify with the victims; I identify with the perpetrators of violence. That is my secret.

When I talk about forgiveness, I talk about it in the context of someone who needs to be forgiven, not just to make it to the next life, but in order to make it through this one.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace. - Ephesians 1:7

... Father, thank You for being a God of second chances. Thank You for looking past our sins. Father, touch the hearts of those who do not yet know the power of Your redemptive love. We cry out to you in Jesus name ...

If God had a name

This post is part of Bridget Chumbley's one word at a time blog carnival. The word today is Self-Control. Please go check out the other posts.

The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them; there ought to be as many for love. - Margeret Atwood

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. - Psalm 9:10

Last week I was in the middle of Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, standing on a grassy hill with my oldest son Lucas. We were watching a cohort of about fifteen drummers at the foot of the hill pound away on their drums. They were talented, there is no doubt about that. The one lonely saxophone that joined them played drawn-out minor cords that added urgency to the music.

In the middle of the pack of drummers, a young woman danced unrestrained, almost unaware of onlookers, something between a 1960s hippy dance and a Turkish belly dance. You could believe that she was Herodias' daughter herself. Everyone on the hill, all the drummers, too, were mesmerized by the woman. No one could take their eyes off of her.

How did she get there and what is her name?

Counselors know everyone has battle scars. What stories do her scars tell?

What does she want?

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The need for love is the great engine that drives the human experience. Humans, all of us, start out wanting nothing more than to be loved. Many of us are hurt along the way and abandon the pursuit of love for a time; we think it protects us from being hurt again. But, love, in one way or another, informs everything we do.

The young woman in Golden Gate Park just wants to be loved, like you, like me.

Test everything. Hold on to the good. – 1 Thessalonians 5:21

Over time I have experimented with a lot of different behaviors to gain love. The only love that has lasted is the love that emanates from the creator of love.

God is love. If it does not look and feel like love, if it does not withstand hardship, if it does not stand the test of time, it is not from God.

I will likely never know the dancing woman's name ... but, God's name I know. His name is mercy, and love, and forgiveness, and peace. He has other names I am still learning. Eventually all of His names will be seared onto my heart.

My prayer is that you find love that lasts. And, I pray that the woman dancing in Golden Gate Park finds love that lasts, too. I thank God for you, for her, I thank God for teaching us what love is … in Jesus name I pray.