14 December 2009

Pretend Perfection

I want them if they want me.
- Jane's Addiction

No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
- Don Swartz


If you go to church long enough you'll get your heart stomped on. With people involved, it's a given.

There is an adolescent boy I know who was asked to leave church after his father left his family to go live with another man. The boy did not even live with his father, but during his greatest time of need, he was viewed as too much of a danger to the other kids . . . Do you want to guess what his view of church might be?

So many times I hear people tell me how isolated they feel, because they cannot live up to the real or perceived expectations of people in their church. - "I'm expected to be perfect, and I have so many hurts and secrets I need to share with someone . . . but can't at my church."

Many churches today load parishioners down with the burden of pretend perfection, and beyond throwing rules and Bible verses at them, refuse to lift a finger to help them.

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God's love is sufficient to get us through a lot, but Scripture is crystal clear about God wanting us to help and depend on each other.

We are relational beings . . . made to love each other . . . made to be patient with each other . . . made to sit with and not judge each other during times of sorrow or personal defeat. We were created to need each other.

God says that our relationship with Him is incomplete if we are not in a loving relationship with each other.

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There are loving and kind people at church, too. The most amazing acts of sacrifice and compassion I have witnessed have come from people within the church.

There are church members and leaders who are transparent about their imperfections, and because of that, others in their faith community feel less isolated and consequently . . . loved.

If you have been hurt by members of a church, please do not let that become an excuse to ignore the healing love of Jesus Christ.

Jesus loves you. He knows you are way less than perfect. In fact He doesn't ask you or anyone else attending a church to be perfect.

He asks us to believe in Him. He asks us to be in the process of surrendering to His love. He asks us to love one another.

When 'all three' are present in our lives, we find peace.

13 comments:

  1. How very human the church is.

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  2. God says that our relationship with Him is incomplete if we are not in a loving relationship with each other.

    I suppose unless someone else feels the same, they wouldn't understand this. I feel the blood of Christ in me as it flows through those who belong to Him. They are a part of me, my flesh and blood. I cannot imagine not loving them, and wanting them to be a part of my life.

    To you who are Christ's, I do love you, and long for the day I meet you.

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  3. Wow...this...

    "We are relational beings . . . made to love each other . . . made to be patient with each other . . . made to sit with and not judge each other during times of sorrow or personal defeat. We were created to need each other."

    Wow...it's Job and his three friends, and Moses and Aaron, and David and Jonathan, and it's Jonah by himself, and...

    Wow. You pretty much got it all in there.

    And then you said, "God says that our relationship with Him is incomplete if we are not in a loving relationship with each other."

    This is the point I so easily miss. Me, an extrovert. I put so much emphasis on God that I forget that He's placed me in the midst of real human beings with real hurts, and/or human beings who don't realize that they've been placed there to soothe my hurts (some of which I haven't even noticed yet).

    I didn't even need to write my submission to the Carnival today. Thanks!

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  4. Love is what were supposed to be known by -- love is what shocked the Roman world into awareness in the first place because love was different. Great post!

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  5. The church doesn't change who God is :-)

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  6. Someone had the gall to send a young man away because of what his father did?!?!?!?!!!!

    Sorry that gets me riled up. Right now at least 10% of my youth group consider themselves gay or bi. It's really weird because I don't do anything to try and bring them in and I do teach Biblical truth about what is right and wrong. I also focus on the person and know Jesus loves everyone so he wants to save everyone, not just the select who think they are good enough.

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  7. This is one of my favorite quotes: "Church is for people who need to go to church."

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  8. God says that our relationship with Him is incomplete if we are not in a loving relationship with each other.

    this one caught my attention.

    love the post as well as the comments.

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  9. Transparency is so huge. People need to know we're not perfect and so when they mess up we'll be there to love them through anything. Great post.

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  10. We are the bride. Like 'here comes the bride' kind of bride. We should look loved, satisfied, and satiated. We should look and live like we know we are the apple of His eye.

    Many times the focus is on looking good, instead of looking loved. Big difference which you pointed out so well.

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  11. This was wonderful! Thank you for sharing!

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  12. Thank you everyone for leaving your comments... :-)

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  13. You always write such great posts!

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